People are so afraid of women who aren’t looking for approval
The air con in here is always fucking set to Arctic. I need a cup of tea.
My social life is just insane right now! Nah, I spend more time with my car than I do with my friends. Seriously, 3 hours a day, 5 days a week.
New job is settling down. I know what I’m doing now and I’m even getting used to the 6 o’clock knock off. I mean it still sucks, but least I don’t get all restless at 4:45 anymore.
My skin has been average. It’s not so broken and painful but still itchy as fuck sometimes. Insides of my elbows are still rashy and I just can’t seem to get it to return to normal skin.
I have two parcels coming my way in the mail right now and I’m obsessively tracking them online. Am so paranoid of missing them that even though it’s Friday night, I’ve already left notes under the doormat that it’s ok to leave them unattended if I’m not home. I literally have no time to pick stuff up from the post office.
This weekend is busy so I’m taking it easy tonight. I feel guilty about it because I could be doing freelance work right now so I have less of a workload the next two days but I have no brain power left to problem solve.
Unfortunately I have to attend a funeral tomorrow morning. Breaks my heart but hopefully I can be there for a friend when she needs it. Will be freelancing tomorrow night and catching up with my uni friends on Sunday. Weekends are never long enough.
I am exhausted.
One month into my new job and my life feels like it’s revolving around it. A short day is 12 hours and a long day is 15 with class and a client meeting after that. I think I spend at least 9 hours a day on a computer which is why I haven’t been posting much. By the time I get home I just need to do something else.
Managed to get a cold on the weekend and I’m still feeling a bit run down. Haven’t managed to figure out how to keep some balance in my life with all this shit going on.
Having said that, two weeks ago I went to the Semi Permanent conference in Melbourne and listened to a lot of great designers/film makers/artists talk about their work and it made me really jealous. A kind of hunger, the kind that almost hurts, to just sit down and do really great work. I would say all of my work to date is pretty mediocre, because let’s be honest, it’s all half assed. I’m tired or pushed for time or a client likes to play it safe and I can’t be bothered to push them in a new direction.
Last week I handed in some pretty shit work purely because I’d seen the version of the same job from last year and I matched it in quality. Got pulled up gently by my boss on it and I thought, what the fuck, I would never have produced that work if it was a fresh brief. Sat and fixed it for three hours and brought it up to standard, but I should never have let it happen in the first place. I need to raise my own standards regardless of whether someone did a shit job last year and the client accepted it. In fact it should be even better then, and significantly raise the bar.
I’m finally getting around to designing an app for Monday Barhop in my UX design class. If you don’t know what Monday Barhop is you should click here. It’s good to work on personal ideas and be able to just try anything I want.
Picked up some freelance work, no more than 3 hours a week say but finding that time seems to get harder and harder. I don’t think freelance will ever pay the bills for me but it’s a good job for my portfolio so I’m sucking it up.
Got my conch piercing switched from a barbell to a CBR and I’m loving it. I think I’m finally done with piercings. Time to move on to tattoos perhaps…
I’m trying (and failing) to bring forward my bed time. I’ve been in the habit of sleeping at 1 or 2am for the last few years so it’s difficult to say the least. Trying to sleep before 12 on weeknights, with the hope of eventually bringing that to 11.. maybe 10. I’m struggling. Most nights I finally fall into bed at 1 and wake up at 6:30 exhausted.
Not much point to this entire post. I think I just needed to get that all out. Mostly I need to convince myself that this will all be worth it. Most days I look at all the shit I have to do and I just tell myself - deal with it. Just deal.